okay, it’s probably half full

Do the errands ever end? I feel like I’ve got so many things to do every day, and I’m definitely not the kind of person who takes on too many activities. Kind of the opposite; I value my down time (and alone time) so much that I often avoid getting involved in things. I really don’t have many responsibilities, and I don’t have any kids. Yet still all the busy-ness. And with 8 hours of work every day, I don’t really feel like doing much else when I get home.

I go back and forth between feeling frustrated that I’m just a cog in this machine of life (working, working, running errands) and just being grateful that I have a job I enjoy and a husband I love.

I feel like my life should be more meaningful. I feel like I have let myself go intellectually since college and should be challenging myself more. I feel like I should be finding a way to earn income without working 40 hours a week. (Such a sucker–tied down by my work hours and measly two weeks of vacation!)

But…I don’t have to get up at dawn to milk cows, then work in the fields all day, like my ancestors did (my grandma tells me about all the farm chores she did and about walking miles to school). I don’t face malnutrition. No one is offering to buy my daughter in exchange for money so I can feed my family.

I think sometimes as Americans (or Westerners) we worry so much about self-actualization that we forget we’re some of the luckiest people on earth.

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4 thoughts on “okay, it’s probably half full

  1. I hear ya. I have the urge to learn again so I’m taking a class every now and then and maybe volunteering. I like being busy though 🙂

    1. Where are you thinking of volunteering? This will probably be a blog post of mine at some point–feeling like I really need to be helping others more but also furiously guarding my alone time. It’s something I struggle with.

    1. No, I don’t. But that’s kind of my point. On the one hand, I can bemoan the fact that I’m chained to a 9 – 5 job. On the other hand, I wasn’t born into poverty. I have an easy life. And maybe that should be enough, and I should just be grateful.

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